Do Employees Pray for Supervisors?

So, I'm sitting in my office today and a supervisor comes in and says, "I have a complaint and I need to know how to handle it".  I asked him what the complaint was.  He said, "I have an employee who leaves his work station several times a day, goes behind the machinery, gets on his knees and prays".  Hmmmmm, I said. 

He continued, "Yeah, it's really getting to me, it needs to stop.  Isn't there some sort of law that says employees can't pray at work?"  I answered, "Actually, there are laws that state an employee DOES have the right to pray...freedom of speech, freedom of religion, freedom of...", you get the idea.  He just looks blankly at me. 

Then I asked him if the employee is being disruptive.  He said, "No".   I asked if he's trying to get other employees to pray with him.  He said "No". I asked if he was loud when he was praying.  He said, "No".   I asked if he was praying while he was supposed to be working (in other words, not at break) and he said, "Yeah, that's the one...that's it...he's praying when he's supposed to be working and I don't like it". 

So I said, "Why don't you just change his normal break times to accommodate his regularly scheduled "prayer" time and that way it works out for both people?"

The supervisor didn't like that.  He said, "I don't know what he's praying for, it bothers me".  I said, "Maybe he's praying for you".  He said, "I doubt it, we're not that close".  (Ok, so now I'm struggling to stop from laughing...'cause it's kinda funny.  I mean really, 2 weeks ago I'm dealing with bomb threats, employees drinking at work, and fights...now this guy wants me to jump all over praying...quietly...from behind machinery...away from everyone.  Come on, are you serious?)  It broke down to this, the employee's break times were changed in order to accommodate his prayer time and he has to go somewhere outside of the actual work area.  Out of sight...out of mind. 

Full Moons Aren't Just for Warewolves Anymore

It's a full moon-or almost a full moon.  I know this, not because I can look out my window at night and see it, but because of the way people I work with act, because of the number of complaints I get and the type of complaints I get and how freaky things get.  I'm a Human Resources Manager, so complaints go along with the job...but some days, it's just weird and I find myself asking about mid-day, "Now, why again did I get out of bed this morning?" 

Today’s complaints  (oh, and this is the order in which they actually hit my office and al complaints were made by different employees): 

1: "Why do they keep moving me all around the plant?  I just want to work one place and stay there-it makes me grumpy moving all the time." 

My answer:  "We're moving you so we don't have to lay you off--your job has been eliminated.  So how’s that transfer working for you now?”

2: "Every time I use the restroom, the toilet seat is wet-do something." 

My response: "Don't sit on the toilet seat.  Didn't your mom tell you, you can get icky stuff from sitting on public toilet seats?" or "Do what my sister does and carry around those nifty little bottles of disinfectant" or "Isn't that a maintenance issue, let me call them" - (classic "pass-the-buck" move.).

I have several answers to this particular complaint, as it happens quite often.  Apparently, full moons affect the ability to aim or something.

3:  "Someone is standing on the toilet seat when they use it and they're getting muddy shoe prints all over the toilet seat"

My response: "Well, at least it's not wet".

4.  “People are smoking in the bathrooms.  It’s gross, it stinks up the whole place. You need to do something about that.”

Me: “Smoking is not allowed anywhere in the building, I’ll send out a policy reminder.  Will that help?” (While I’m thinking to myself…you’re in the bathroom  just after lunch and coffee break and you think the worst smell coming from the bathroom is the cigarette smoke?)

5.  “Why aren’t people flushing used toilet paper? Why do they keep putting used toilet paper in the garbage cans?  Don’t they know that can create diseases?  If I get sick, I’m suing the company.  I’m filing a worker’s comp claim and the company can pay for my retirement. What are YOU going to do about it?”

Me: “I’ll talk with the maintenance crew and have all of the stall garbage cans removed.”

Him:  “They’ll just throw it on the floor.”

Me: “Well, if you see them do that, tell them to stop.”

Him: “That’s not my job.”

Me: “Then tell your supervisor or let us know if you see someone do that”

6.  “Isn’t there something you can do to stop people from using their cell phones in the bathrooms?  Every time someone does that I have to sit and wait until they’re done.  I mean really, is it necessary to talk on the phone while you’re peeing?  Isn’t the employee at all aware that the caller on the other end can hear what’s going on, especially when people flush the toilets?  Make it stop!”

Me:  “I’ll fix it.  I have several other bathroom issues to fix, just give me a day or so.”

(Regarding bathroom complaints: I thought I’d kill all birds with one stone and created a sign, which was laminated and posted in every single bathroom that states:

·         Do you stand on the toilet seat.

·         Do not splash water around the restroom.  If you make it wet, clean it up.

·         Do not use cell phones while in the restroom.

·         No smoking in the restroom.

·         Flush all used toilet paper in the toilet.

·         If you are found vandalizing company property, you will be discharged.

7:  Or how about the classic: "I've been to my dentist 3 times in the last month and the insurance company is refusing to pay my bill.  I'm mad, I don't have to take this.  You fix this or I'm going to the President." 

Me:  "Well according to your medical file and your dental enrollment form, you declined dental coverage this year".

Him:  "I wouldn't do that, show me the form." 

And I did...in huge black letters scrawled across the entire length of the form it said,     "D E C L I N E D" with his signature next to it. 

I asked, "Is this your name on the form".

Him:  "Yes." 

Me:  "Is this your signature on the form?" 

Him:  "Yes." 

Me: "Do you see where you wrote, "Declined" across here?" 

Him: "Yeah, but that's not what I meant.  I meant to enroll". 

Me: "Yes, but you also crossed off the part where you would list your enrollment information and also checked the " I do not choose to enroll" box". 

 And then he asks, "Well, is my wife at least covered because she's been to the dentist 5 times over the past month and a half and we can't afford to pay the bill." 

I blinked, and then said, "Well, no-she can't be enrolled if you're not enrolled, and her name isn't on the enrollment form either." 

And then he said LOUDLY, "Our company's insurance plan SUCKS!!!!!!" and stomped out.

7:  Mr.”M” stomped in and wants to know why I'm picking on one of his employees.

"Am I", I asked.  "How so." 

Him: "You emailed me a documented event where someone complained she'd inappropriately released confidential information to someone.  How do you know the witness isn't lying?" 

Me: "There were five witnesses that saw and heard her do it". 

Him:: "How do you know they're not lying and my employee telling the truth?" 

Me: "Because 3 of the 5 witnesses were either supervisors or managers". 

Him::  "Everyone picks on my employee, it's not right." 

ME:  "You mean like the 17 phone calls I received over the past two months from our vendors, employment candidates and employees complaining that your employee is rude, has hung up on them, is unprofessional, has used profanity and refuses to help them or pass their calls along?" 

Him:: "Yes, that's what I mean, they're picking on her." 

Me: "Well, then I assume you'll be taking all of these calls from now on and doing all of the apologizing for the company's representative who's just insulted them." 

He  also stomped out of my office. 

8:  My personal favorite today...I had to counsel an employee because he repeatedly lays down or sits down when he's working.  This is hard to accomplish because there are people walking all around, forklifts moving throughout both buildings and equipment carts being pushed around. 

Me:  "You have to stop laying down while you're working, it's not appropriate, people are complaining because they're always having to step around you any you’re not getting your work done." 

Him: "Well, they'd have to step around me if I was standing there wouldn't they?" 

Me:   “You can't lay down while you're working-you have to stand at the work station.  Is there something wrong with you-are you sick-do you need to see a dr.?" 

Him:  "No, I just like don't like standing all day". 

Me:  "But that's your job-that's the requirement." 

Him..."No, I don't wanna do that." 

Me, in my most authoritarian voice, "Ok, let me explain something to you, I'm not asking your preference, I'm not asking your permission and I’m not making a friendly suggestion...this is a direct instruction-an order...you are required to remain standing while you're at the work station working-no more laying down on the job (I can't believe I had to tell someone that), no more sitting and leaning up against the machinery--people have to use it and can't because you're blocking it.  Do you understand?" 

Him..."Yeah, you mean just today right...'cause we're busy or something?"

Me:  "Never...I mean you can NEVER lay down during work hours or while you're working...in fact you can NEVER lay down on the production floor, warehouse floor, sidewalk, driveway, or office...no laying down...anywhere...ever." 

Him:  "That just sucks...I hate this job!" 

Me: "You may resign at any time.  Also, if this happens again, the situation will resolve itself because you'll no longer work here".   Like I said, full moon!

Pillows

I’m so picky about the pillow I sleep on that I used to unzip the extension zipper on my suitcase, just to make enough room to pack my own pillow to take with me…whether traveling across country, or going camping…that pillow came with me.  I did forget it once and had to take the offered pillow out of its case and then fold up 2 bath towels and put them in the pillow case. It wasn’t the best, but it had to do.  Needless to say, I didn’t forget it after that.  Toothbrush…maybe; eye liner…sometimes; debit card, possibly…but never again, the pillow.

It takes time to break in a good pillow.  If it’s too thick, it kinks my neck all night and I end up with a migraine.  If it’s too thin, then is doesn’t support my neck like it’s supposed to and I wake up with a stiff neck…oh and usually a migraine.  If it’s lumpy, my head rolls around between the bumps and lumps, which poke me in the ear, and no sleep, followed by a migraine.  See how it goes?

What changed this pillow packing person, was the trip my daughter and I took to Ireland in 2009.  I only wanted to take 1 small suitcase and my backpack and we were going to be gone for over 2 weeks, so I needed the room.  My love for Ireland and need to pack another pair of jeans won out and the pillow stayed home alone. 

How brave was that! Up until now I hadn’t even trusted American hotels to provide the right pillow, but now I was traveling to parts of Ireland, rarely visited and who knows what my head would be forced to fall asleep on.  It’s not like you’re traveling around America where the hotels give you 8 pillows per bed…this is Ireland, where their quilts don’t even fall over the side of the mattress—they just cover the top.  I didn’t care, this was all an adventure, so ‘adventure on’ I did.

I don’t know if it’s because we’d walked so much every day or if it was the fresh air we were breathing in every day or just the absolute beauty that surrounded us, but I slept on whatever pillow was given to me and slept every night like a baby.  I took a step out in faith and was rewarded. 

Now I find myself in a very nice, fancy hotel in Memphis, with a king size bed that has 7 pillows on the bed and 3 extra in the closet just in case and I’m the only one in the room.  I spend every night trying to punch, push, unstuff, squeeze, soften and de-migraine-ify pillows until I find one that I can sleep on…and then when I get back to the hotel after working all day, the bed is re-made and all the pillows are back tightly stuffed into their cases and hard as rocks.  I even tried hiding” thee” pillow last night, but alas, it was found and is now back on the bed, somewhere in the pile of pillows.  So the ritual begins again.  And just in case you think I'm joking...

 

Moral of the story…if you really want a good night’s sleep and are a picky pillow person yourself…do yourself a favor, leave your pillow behind and go to Ireland.  They take care of you there and that’s why I’m going back in August…just so I can get a good night’s sleep. :)

Memphis, and Why?

I'm starting this blog thanks to my daughter's encouragement, and since I'm borrowing the first part of this blog from her, this first one is dedicated to her.

The first part of my first blog is borrowed from my daughter, because it's her view of the beginning of my trip to Memphis this week and her interpretation of my calls and texts are hilarious...true but hilarious...and so it goes...

Monday, 3/7/11

"An early morning to see Mom off to work before airport trip to Memphis for a week.

She's still at airport now, in fact, wandering between gates. They've apparently changed them 3 times so far. So she rolls to one and waits a piece before a ding sounds overhead and a soothing Dove-commercial voice indicates that they've relocated, yet again, and she rolls to the next.

Once, can happen. But three times?

...Did they lose the plane? Forget what it looks like? I don't understand.

...Meanwhile, she's texting: "This does not build confidence in my luggage actually making it to me tonight."

To which I reply: "...It doesn't instill confidence you won't end up in Duluth, either."


...And she might. If they can't find a plane, how the hell can they be expected to find Tennessee?

...And anyway, this is Mom we're talking about.

...She's the human being with the most unholy luck at anything that I have ever seen. She'll order chicken and get beef. She'll book an aisle seat and get a window. She'll get soy lattes instead of decaf mochas, the cell phone company will up her minutes to 500,000 a month and forget to give her any texting plan at all, plus she's already had two concussions, and a severely sprained thumb this year.

It's only March.

...So with her bumpy head, and left hand in a brace up to her elbow with her thumb sticking out like an eternal hitchhiker, she's wandering around the airport with two bags of luggage, squinting at the boarding gate reader signs, because "something" got in her contact this morning, so her eye has weeped all her makeup off on one side and she can't see out of it.

...This is my mother: a winking, weeping, 5'2" disaster area, calmly wandering around Seatac willy nilly as instructed, and not even complaining about it, because she's just so used to this by now.

These are the genes I come from.

...So really, how can I do anything but anticipate situations like the ones I find myself in?

(Love you Ma, safe trip. Send a card from Bocca, or wherever the hell you end up.)"

...and now the story continues from my point of view...

I finally made it to Memphis after taking the grand tour of Seatac. I want to know while I was wandering around the airport, exactly where my clothes have been because they came back to me with sand all over them. It's like From Here To Eternity but just for my clothes. I want to know who they were frolickying around with. That's it! They're grounded!

Also when I finally got to the hotel the parking lot was completely blocked off so I had to drag my suitcases from a ridiculous distance...at night...in Memphis. Need I say more?

So I get my jammies on, gonna watch TV and find something Memphisy to watch, and guess what? Starbucks was started in Seattle and there's a Starbucks right in Pikes Market where they toss fish? Also, the original one is the only one that still displays the original mermaid trademark uncensored. So much for Memphisy TV! I'm going to bed.

Oh and one more travel travesty...my favorite BBQ place is no longer here. I don't mean it closed it's doors... I mean a friggin' tornado picked it up and IT'S NOT THERE ANY MORE! When will this day end?

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

but wait... there's more...first, TN weathermen are about as affective as WA weathermen--really bad at it, hence my being drenched for the entire day.

Next, after giving my first 3 classes today, someone brought in a cake...this large, donut shaped, multi-colored cake with multi-colored beads all over it and a naked plastic baby, sitting in the middle of the beads...oh and I was told that there would also be one of these naked plastic babies inside the cake, which is supposed to be good luck (as long as you don't swallow it or the beads and choke to death, I'm supposing).

Everyone seemed happy. This is a good thing! This is a King's cake! This is how one starts celebrating Fat Tuesday and opening of Marti Gras!

I had to go online and research, because that's what one does when one is overwhelmed by such a thing that makes no sense. Today is "Fat Tuesday"...didn't dawdle on why it's called that unless it has to do with eating a lot of the cake or something like that.

Anyway, the King's cake is supposed to be in memory of the 3 wise men. I don't get it, but maybe that's why there's so many colors on the cake.  The naked plastic baby is supposed to remind us of the baby Jesus, but why they also cook him in the cake somewhere-still hasn't been clarified. The beads were added...well, just 'cause that's what one does during Marti Gras, get beads...oh in a side note apparently the more one flashes men, the more beads one gets...again, how that ties back into the 3 wisemen and the baby Jesus I have no idea, but there's a connection somewhere-just haven't found it yet.

So I had a piece of King's cake, but didn't get the cooked in baby Jesus, so now I don't know what to think. Is it like the groundhog who sees his shadow and we get more winter? What happens if one doesn't get the baby Jesus in a bite of cake? I mean, I didn't choke on anything, so considering my luck, that's pretty good, but what am I missing out on? Now it's going to keep me up all night wondering what I missed,and I finished my book yesterday on the plane so I don't have anything but the directions on how to work the TV to read to help me fall asleep,and since yeserday's TV was all about Starbucks and Seattle, I figure, what's the point! So, Happy Fat Tuesday, let the Marti Gras begin! and please, God, help me get to sleep tonight.